The Sweet taste of 7-Up despite a Camp Conference
Newbury & Thatcham 5’s – 1 Banbury 4’s – 7
Little did one our ex-Piranhas (Banburys HC’s very own Hook Norton Hitman) Ed Lewis know, that he unknowingly set the tone for the match as he rocked up to NOA clutching the remains of his McDonalds Breakfast. Having been one of the casualties of war from our last away encounter with Newbury & Thatcham 5’s, Ed was fuelling his body with just the right amount of monosodium glutamate, Saturated Fats, McD’s Patented Amino Acids (aka rotting Horse Meat) along with the very much unrecognised benefits of a 32 Oz Sprite to put his body and mind into the perfect marauder state for the forthcoming game. Little did Ed know that his favourite sugary drink had been switched to an alternate brand following a directive by the White House.
Little do many of you know that Trump is a significant McDonalds Share holder and was mentored by Ronald himself. After one mentoring session with the Clown (which one I hear you say), the rather confused POTUS couldn’t fathom whether the Sprite Synonym…. Goblin was a noun or a verb…This was all to much for him and the name was far too closely linked to err
Monika & Bill the Democrats……..so the switch was made and 7-Up it was.
A few days earlier Captain Allman had just made his 5th Phone Call to Ex-Piranhas/4th Team Super Back Andy Camp in a desperate plea for his services for Saturdays game. Unfortunately, Banbury’s Veteran defender would not shift his commitment from the Republican Mid Term NRA Fundraiser he was attending. With the Guest Speaker Mike Pence (one Campy’s political heroes) and the whole event hosted by Fox News, this was one he would not miss for all the Senate Seats in Washington.
So……after an eventful trip to Newbury & Thatcham with Finn missing a Junction, Captain Allman missing a roundabout, Atkins missing his sleep (just pulled and all night shift at the Kraft Factory), Toby missing his brother, Ben missing a beer and banana, Ed missing his Sprite and Campy…. well….just missing !……. Banbury 4th’s stepped out onto a Blustery pitch ready to do battle knowing a berserker midfielder awaited them.
Banbury sporting an unfamiliar line up struggled to find their shape and quickly went one behind from a penalty stroke awarded after a good opposition move. The next 10 mins saw Banbury on the back foot again after a Green Yellow pincer movement by one the umpires sending off both Toby and Tom at the same time for a 5 yd encroachment. The combo of Finn, Allman, Lewis and Atkins held firm with Warrior White also making some sharp saves to keep it to a 1 goal game. Shortly after Banbury were back to the full 11, a swift move found Jacob free in the circle who finished with flick past the opposition keeper making it 1 -1.
The next period of play up saw the Banbury midfield of Clarke, Moursalli, Boardman, Reville and Squire really starting to Purr moving the ball around midfield and defence, switching the point of attack from left to right, opening up Newbury and Thatcham creating multiple chances. The next 15 mins saw Banbury rain in 4 goals. A rare Andy Clarke shot after Jacob was taken out by the keeper, a father and son Boardman double (great reverse stick strike from Jamie and an open stick thunderbolt from Tom) and a deft finish by Noel the Goal.
With Newbury and Thatcham shell shocked, the whistle went for the end of the first half and Captain Allman delivered his legendry 1 -2 -3 interval pep talk to the buoyant Banbury team.
1. Tight for the 10 mins don’t concede!
2. Keep recycling the ball and switch the point of attack
3. Don’t get nutted by the N&T Bald Berserker.
The team carried out the instructions in the second half keeping it tight at the back also running in a couple more goals with a second from Jacob and poach of his own sons shot by Boardman Senior.
The end of the game saw both Jacob and Tom squander good Hattrick chances with more than a strong hint of Jug avoidance in play. The only other notable point was the visible increase in rage and random musings from one Bald Berserker, offering rather bizarre anatomical and marital advice to a few of the Banbury midfield. The final whistle went with three cheers and handshakes from most players after a hard-fought competitive match.
So Ed’s 7-Up premonition was correct and we blamed Campy for the one goal we let in. As next week is an 11am morning meet for a Reading Rascal away day….Ben has offered to have a Wadworth 6X for breakfast….. what can go wrong 😊