Piranhas in EU Vote Shock

Banbury Piranhas  3  Witney 1


The Piranhas retained their 3rd slot with a tough 3-1 win over 5th placed Witney. There was also a major debate in the clubhouse after about whether we should stay in the EU or not – the youngsters fascinated by the media driven frenzy that is …..the big vote, the enthralling world of politics and the dynamic whirlpool of ingredients that this incredibly interesting debate entails – legal, economic, social, cultural, political and technological. It’s all there to whet anyone’s appetite and could form the basis of a great series like 24 or Homeland……or Carry on Nurse…….so how did the Piranha vote go? Well you’ll just have to wait until the end of the report – so hold onto your pants and your breath……and don’t get the 2 mixed up….

The Piranhas started the game briskly – I say that cos they scored the first goal within the first minute. Captain Camp was managing on the sidelines as a result of a life threatening back injury and too busy attending to his loose balls – consequently missing the Piranhas gaining possession of the ball and working it around the Witney team with aplomb until Ali Nash roofed it to take an early lead.

The first half was end to end hockey with both teams up for the win. Steve Hicks in goal was outstanding dominating his D and not taking any prisoners; Gary White and Mervyn Long providing stiff resistance at the heart of the defence akin to top quality viagra; and the two flanks of Ollie Webb and Freddie Symons running the opposition ragged down each wing. More pressure followed onto the Witney defence as the excellent midfield of Adam Hughes, Will Eagles, Sam Bracke and Ali Nash fed the hard working Charlie Camp and Clive Briant up front. Camp turned the oppo defence inside out to win a short corner which Ollie Webb hammered home via the Witney defender’s foot, knee, stick, hip and mother in law – into the net.

2-0 up and cruising, the Piranhas sat back a little and Witney then took hold of the game to win a short corner which their talkative  forward (who probably had an opinion on the EU to go with his continuous opinions on the umpire decisions….) roofed after Hicks made the first save.

At 2-1 Finley McEvoy and Sam Baldry came on to provide fresh legs which led to a great pass and move passage of play through Symons , McEvoy, Bracke, and Camp who slipped the ball to Hughes who executed a reverse stick sweep to make it 3-1.

Half time came with the Piranhas dominant and apart from switching Eagles to the base of the diamond and Hughes to the top – all the young Piranhas really wanted to discuss was the “EU conundrum”…..could this replace “Call of Duty” or “Minecraft”??

The second half was much the same with both team’s attacks pushing hard and  both defences stiffening resistance (oooo errr missus Frankie Howerd’s back….). Freddie Symons spent most of the half turning the talkative Witney forward inside out until he’d had enough and talked himself off the pitch…….ironically Freddie’s stick did the talking all over the other Witney forward’s stick and off he went for a “rest” too.

With 10 v 10 the game opened up – Will Eagles held the team together well in midfield allowing Hughes, McEvoy and Bracke to charge at the oppo and attack at will. White flattened the only Witney youngster on the pitch in a sort of sweaty Celtic wrestling smothering move that would give any child nightmares for the rest of his life…..but no goals came.

The game ended with the Piranhas bagging 3 points. Witney joined us for Mervyn’s edible teas (Allman being in the Piste for the last 2 weeks meant the Animals of Bretch Hill could frolic unfettered knowing they wouldn’t end up in his pot), and of course a thoroughly entertaining debate on the EU which the media think we are all constantly exercised over – whereas in reality we’d all rather stick our heads down an overused “u” bend than read or hear yet more media driven drivel over “Brexits”, “Bra-cations”,  “Brit-ins” (like that one – I made that one up!!), and “Brit-couldntgiveatoss” ……

The results of the Piranha vote?

Freddie Symons got Mr Golden Balls for his great wing work and turning the Witney attack inside out and outside in…..

Ollie Webb (I thought unfairly !!) got Mr Pants for the luckiest goal on this earth as his shot did rebound of everything the poor Witney defender had (including his mother in law) before it crawled over the line like a drowned tissue.

Next week we face  second placed Abingdon Men’s 2s who on the same day scraped past MK Samurai 10-0……that’ll be a breeze then ?!?!