If You Like James Cracknell – You’ll Love Bracknell !!

  • December 8, 2014

Piranhas Have “Bambi on Ice Event” Cancelled

The Piranhas missed out on a pre-Christmas treat to the Lapland extravaganza event of the year that is Bracknell in December – as a result of icy weather. But somehow without playing a game and with one game in hand – The Piranhas find themselves atop the league above the Maidenhead Monarchs….the conclusion being – don’t play your fixtures and you’ll win the league…obviously.

Anyway – it was disappointment all round as the “Bambi contingent” of The Piranhas (Matt Allman and Clive Briant) had got up extra early to eat a fresh pile of straw and woodland berries and nuts before polishing their little hooves dutifully in readiness for the game. They were distinctly skippy and excited today as Thumper was playing (Joe Whinmill – cos he just thumps the ball at players a lot) and the nasty Huntsmen weren’t prowling in the meadow as a result of Operation Yewtree – which does sound a bit like a woodland Disney tale…..

The big man from Bracknell called early Saturday morning to say the pitch was too icy and thus a safety hazard for Matt and Clive as they’d be skidding around as usual on their little hooves – doing the four legged splits and making Thumper and the gang laugh – even though in today’s society such behaviour would be considered bullying and Bambi-ist. Bambi’s Dad (Campy senior – obviously – on account of his extra-large horns) took the call and agreed with the big man from Bracknell that it would be too dangerous for the Bambi Twins and didn’t want a dapple furred shiny nosed carnage mess on his hands – albeit it would’ve made an interesting alterative to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre – The Bracknell Chainsaw Massacre……a middle England modern version of the genre set in midlife crisis suburbia….

So we all stayed at home and the Bambi twins frolicked happily in the meadow….until that fateful cry – “don’t go into the meadow!”……and we and we all know what came next…..

Next week we meet the Maidenhead Monarchs at home – A top of table clash and the last match before Christmas…..a festive event with plenty of cheer awaits no doubt……or alternatively a bad tempered top of table clash where Thumper comes into his own?