“Groundabout Hog Day” as Piranhas Host The Masters of Bracknell Gyratory Club
MBBO Division 8
Piranhas – 2 Bracknell 3s – 0
“Nice roundabouts mate….” Was the first comment made by the Bracknell team with a semi appreciative nod on walking onto the hallowed NOA Drayton artificial turf. Captain Camp breathed a sigh of relief as he knew the roundabout polishing frenzy of the night before would pay off but we were just mere students to masters when it came to roundabouts in Banbury. As my Mother used to tell me when tucking me in at night (only just the other week as it happens) – “You can’t polish your roundabout too much – it’s a daily requirement, needing care, dedication and flair”. Some “nay sayers” tell you you’ll go blind – but I happen to have perfect sight….Tom “Dennis” Slay, however, said he had to visit the opticians in Leamington before the game – you can draw your own conclusions…..
The game started with the Piranhas having trouble finding their fins as Bracknell 3s are no pushover. The defence of Berserker Lamb, Dennis, Clive Briant, Joe Whinmill and Ed Hornby repelled any Bracknell attack and very quickly the opposition were on the back foot. Ash Laverick, Chris Atkins, Matt Allman and Sam Bracke started to dominate the midfield and young Zach McComb and Lee Allen fed off the increasing possession. Eventually Allman actually threw an aerial pass (hold the front page) which dissected the Bracknell defence putting Allen free for a 1 on 1 with the keeper. His first attempt was saved as was his 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th – but the 6th reverse flick got past the keeper and the rest of the Bracknell team as they’d had plenty of time to stroll back from the half way line and Allen’s shot hit the unlucky Bracknell captain on the line – Allen despatched the resulting penalty flick to make it 1-0 to the Piranhas.
The Piranhas didn’t take their foot off the gas and Bracknell had to defend hard against a series of short corners and open play attacks until half time.
At half time Joe Whinmill said he needed a rest and so a new pair of fresh legs was required – and they couldn’t come “fresher” than Captain Camp’s, who sprung onto the pitch with gusto and verve – his fresh muscular nubile legs shining and resplendent in the afternoon sun – Rodin would’ve gasped…..
The second half was dominated by Piranha play with Charlie Camp turning his marker inside out and then outside in again till the poor bloke thought he had turned into a roundabout. Laverick, Atkins and Allman ran the midfield and created many chances for Thomas Allman, McComb and Allen up front. Another great passage of Piranha play led to Laverick with the ball on the far left hand side of the D where he despatched a rocket reverse stick strike to make it 2-0.
Bracknell tried to get back into the game but Slay, Camp and Briant particularly played well to block any chances – and those that came through Lamb hoofed effectively up the pitch.
There was one odd moment when Dennis stopped in midfield seemingly to point at a plane while a Bracknell player took the ball off his stick – obviously he was just testing his new glasses….or thought he was back in his birthplace settlement where The Big Silver Bird in the Sky was always a dead cert to draw the relatives out of the mud huts for a good old gawp……beat shrinking dead heads for entertainment – albeit Dennis seemed to be sporting one?
The final whistle blew and the Piranhas bagged another 3 points with a good clean sheet. The team have only conceded 9 goals – the lowest by far in the league – and now stand 6 points clear at the top…..
Next week we visit Thame….can we Tame Team Thame ? Can we Gain Fame in Thame and avoid being Lame in Thame? One thing we do know – we have a Game in Thame….